Apostle Michael Orokpo || Key Phases In Successful Marriage.

Apostle Michael Orokpo: As a young woman, there are four phases you will graduate to and where you people are now, is actually the third phase.
For a young lady, she will migrate from a girl and she will come to a lady, then she will grow into a wife and she will become a mother.
For a young man, you will grow from a boy, you’ll become a young man, you’ll become a husband, then you become a father.
Now, there is a difference for all of this age bracket. As a girl, your powers are in your looks, that’s why when you attained the age of puberty, you went to the mirror, you love your eyelashes, you started trimming them, you discovered that some features were growing on you that made you stood out and so at that point, your whole pride anchored on how beautiful you look and you will spend your time and your money to improve on your beauty. That is good but if you remain a girl, you have a problem.

Why is our society in crisis today? Because there are many married women who are girls and so, a woman at the age of 35 is a girl, all she’s looking at, is her looks and her beauty and because of that, there will be crisis at home, she won’t care. She’s a girl.
Some people’s children fall into a pool and die, you know why? They are chatting on Instagram, they are girls, they have not grown. You will grow from the stature of a girl, you will become a lady. When you become a lady, your glory will shift from your body to your mind, because you too have something to contribute to society, that’s why your father, when you were a child, he calls you “my angel, my princess”, as you started growing, he put you in the school because he knows that you cannot appeal to your generation only by looks, you need something in your head and when you come to that level, you will discover that you will invest a lot to develop your mind but unfortunately there are many women in society that are girls, so they have nothing here(brain) and that’s why you find many naked girls on the street, the selling point they have is their body and so when you look at our society today, most ladies want to dress naked because they are still girls, their body is their only power but you see, if our society is working well, girls will grow to ladies and so ladies will have power in the mind, not only in the body.

Although the girlhood will still be there but they would have graduated to the mind, now a point will now come when you will mature from a lady, you’ll become a wife. You are not a wife because you are married, you are a wife to be found.. He say “he who finds a wife”, if you are not a wife, you cannot be married.
Now, who is a wife? A wife is a lady that have decided to submit to the ordinances of God and when you come into our society today, you hear of feminism movement, they don’t want to submit to God’s ordinance, so because a lady is working and she’s earning salary, she thinks she’s a boss. No, it’s not designed like that.
When God designed it, He made the husband head. That means, if you want to grow from the level of a girl, you must submit to your husband. He didn’t say “submit to men”, no.. He says submit to your husband. That means a woman can be a president but at home she’s a wife to the husband. If you can’t come under God’s ordinance even if you have a PhD, you have not mature, you are still a lady. So God expects you to grow from a lady to becoming a wife. As a wife, you submit to your husband. It is when you become a wife that God can now entrust you with children, so that you become mother because now, you too can train people to follow that cycle and through you, you can raise people that God can depend on.

And then, when you come to the man, you grow from a boy. A boy is selfish because a boy is full of ego, he wants to show that he has some muscle, he wants to prove a point and I can tell you, there are many married men today who are boys, so when they come home, even though their wife is suggesting what is right, their ego will not let them. And the guy is obviously foolish but he’s walking about “I’m the man of the house”, you are the man of the house but you are foolish, if we follow this your advice, the home will crumble. When you become mature, you will not be egoistic. It’s only a boy that is full of ego, he wants to prove a point. You need to grow from the level of a boy to becoming a young man. The Bible said “a young man is full of the word of God, he has overcome the evil one”.

So, when you become a young man, you take responsibilities and one of the major responsibilities you take, will be for your own weaknesses. So, if you are wrong, you will have the fortitude to say “I’m sorry” and you can say “I’m sorry to your wife I got it wrong, I am sorry”, because you are now a young man, you can take responsibilities.
As a young man, you should also be ready to provide for her needs, emotional needs spiritual needs and financial needs and every need that she has, if you don’t have the capacity to provide for her need, then you are not qualified to ask her out in the first place. So you need to understand that a young man is one who has the capacity to take responsibilities and when you now graduate from a young man, then you can become a husband. As a husband, you become a gardener. The word husband is from the word “a gardener”, that means if this lady is not better than she is now after 5 years, it means you failed because your job is to take over from where the father stopped. You must be a gardener and bring out her best potentials. The problem we have in many homes, is that boys are married, so because the lady is intelligent the guy is intimidated and so he wants to oppress her until he kills her confidence and the lady becomes a shadow of herself.

When you become a husband, the better your wife, the more glorious you are. So your goal is to make sure she is a thousand times better than she is, so much so that when her father sees her, he will say “ah I thought I was doing a good job” and you tell him “you tried, now we have taken over”, that’s what makes you a husband.
And it’s when you get there, that God can now entrust you with the responsibility of fatherhood, because now even if a child comes, you can manage him. If you are not mature, you cannot handle the mystery of marriage.

Why am I saying this? The devil is out to destroy marriages and the in-root the devil has into homes, is the immaturity of the couples and so what the devil will do is that, he will come and look for where the girlhood of the wife is and he will sit there and make the woman think her nails and her eyelashes are more important than her responsibilities, he will make the woman feel that, even though she’s married, all there is about her is her looks, and he will not let her submit to the ordinances of God and so because she doesn’t do that, crisis will now erupt internally.

You know it is said that the sheep may be on the ocean but the ocean can’t sink it, it is the water that is in the sheep that drowns the sheep. So the devil will come to look for the areas of your immaturity and plunder it.
The devil will come to find your boyhood, you may have two sons, he doesn’t care about your fatherhood, he will look for your boyhood and stir your ego and and on the strength of your ego, he will destroy your home. If you are not aware that home front and the family front is under attack, every time the devil stirs your boyhood, you will give him a chance because you will think you are winning the battle but at the end of the day, you will lose the war and your home will be destroyed. There are many homes today that are wrecked because boys and girls are getting married not husbands and wives.

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