Apostle Michael Orokpo || Building Deep And Meaningful Relationships

Apostle Michael Orokpo: Relationship has four depths. The first depth of relationship is the level of attraction and so the physical characteristics of the person can trigger an attraction. She may love tall guys and because you came tall, it was easy for her heart to open and you may have loved her smile, you may have loved her confidence, even the way she speaks, there’s a British accent and all of that appealed to you and you began something from the level of attraction.

Now, you’ll discover that the Holy Ghost is not concerned about your feelings because the Holy Ghost is an immortal spirit, He will not commit himself to your union because you have feelings. That’s why before God became a part of the equation, you have to come to the altar, it must be a covenant to let you know that God is operating with you at a depth superior to your emotions. He will allow your emotions because we are humans and He’s not against your emotion, in fact emotions are the flavors of humanity of existence.

So, He appreciates your emotions, He will help you to keep it but where He’s relating with you from is deeper than the realm of your emotion and so you begin your relationship from the level of attraction. You now discover that a point will come when you have to deepen it to the place of understanding.
So there are things you didn’t know about her, when you saw her smile, you made a lot of assumption, in fact you would have been calling her my angel because the smile captured Angelic expression.

 Now, when you go deep, you discover that it’s not all Angelic. So you have to move from attraction to understanding because there are things you will find that you may not necessarily like and there are things she will also find that she will not like but because the Holy Ghost knows that emotion is not a viable position to commit Himself, He didn’t go there, He knows there are a lot of gaps of assumption, so he will allow you journey to understanding.
When you get into understanding, even if you don’t feel good about her, you will now be compelled to do good because now you know that your interaction with her is not self-centered because at the level of attraction, your whole interaction is selfish, you are approaching her because you like something, you are moving forward because you like something.

When you now come into understanding, you now begin to move into a selfless realm. So the things you see in her, that you don’t like now becomes your responsibility to work on, so that she can become a better person.
Now, you are still journeying in relationship, the things she sees about you that she doesn’t like, she’ll also begin to help you work on it, so that you become a better person. Now, that’s why understanding is deeper than attraction but it’s still not enough. You will still go deeper to the level of trust because even in the corridor of understanding, there are things you will not understand after 30 years. Ask our fathers who are here, your wife will wake up 30 years later, you now see something, you say “who are you? I don’t know this” because we are men, your heart is deep, eternity is there.
 So you move from understanding to trust, when you see things that you can’t understand, you will just have to trust.

And beyond trust, there is also the place of a covenant because even areas where you cannot trust, because God is now involved, you have no choice.
Why am I saying this? I’m saying this because there’s no back door to go out. So long as you brought it to the altar, there’s no back door, you can’t wake up tomorrow and say “I don’t like her again”, that ticket has expired. You can’t wake up tomorrow and say “I don’t understand my wife, so I’m going”, that opportunity is lost. You can’t wake up tomorrow and say “I can’t trust her”, you will have to build trust because your relationship has graduated from affection through understanding, through covenant, through trust, it is now on covenant.
So, now you will go back and follow the route again because you move from affection to covenant, you will now learn understanding and trust and a point will come when you will live with her and you will build all of these things.

It is on this wise that Paul said this is a great mystery because when you achieve this, you will no longer see your wife as another entity, you will see her as part of you and she too will see you as part of her but you see this thing, is not something that a child can achieve, it is something that is for the mature because every time mystery is mentioned in scripture is for the mature, in 1 Corinthians 2:6-7, Paul said we speak wisdom amongst them that are mature and in verse 7, he called the wisdom of God a mystery.

So if you are dealing with this thing, you will understand that, you will require a lot of maturity because there are many times when your hands will want to move but because you are mature, you have to restrain your temperament and endure it, otherwise you can’t achieve the mystery. There are many times our lips will want to move to say some things to hurt and create a point because you are now mature, you have to tame your lip, if you want to achieve the great mystery of marriage. And if you don’t achieve the great mystery of marriage, you cannot enjoy the benefits of marriage.

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