Mistakes Married Couples Make || Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo

1. No communication
   Don’t assume, always talk. Many people married and stop talking. Men especially suddenly becomes quiet. What is it? Babe don’t worry, you won’t understand. When we were dating you tell me everything, now we are married, all of a sudden, I don’t understand. Tell me, let me be the one to decide whether to understand or not and if I don’t understand, you explain to me, that’s what marriage is. Communicate. The Bible says they were naked and not ashame(no secret). That’s what communication is. Carry each other along.

2. No Boundaries
   This is the downfall of a lot of marriages. You see, marriages usually have five major issues such as; money, sex, communication, power and interference. When you settle the boundary issue, you usually can sort out almost all of these problems. When I say boundaries, I mean both physical and spiritual boundaries. When there are boundaries, the Bible says that when a man doesn’t have self control, he’s like a city without walls. Which means anything can enter. Also, when you don’t have boundaries in your home, the Bible says, “break the edge and the serpent will bite”. When you don’t put boundaries in your marriage, anything can enter. So, for me, one of the major boundaries you must have is spiritual boundaries. Because there are some things you can not correct physically. If your mother in-law is misbehaving, for your own good, you better not abuse her. But you can get on your kneels, “God solve this matter out because I don’t have power. I can’t shout, I don’t want insult, I don’t want quarrel, I don’t want my husband to choose between me and her”.

If you are suspecting because there is this girl always hanging around my husband. If you don’t have proof, what can you do? You get on your kneels and set spiritual boundaries.

There should be accountability. Why do you have password on your phone sir and your wife does not know the password?  What are you passwording? If you are passwording, there is already problem. If you can’t leave your phone and say let me go and pee. And then you hear your wife is coming and you rush back inside, then there is problem. If there is no problem, then an telling you, there will be problem.

Why do you want to create problems in your home? Once you give Satan that opportunity, he will destroy your home.

Let there be boundaries with inlaws. The Bible says, for this reason(purpose of marriage) a man will leave his father and mother(the relationship that is more valuable to him) and Cleave to his wife. If he doesn’t leave, he can’t Cleave. So there has to be a leaving.

3. No Agreement.
   Can two work together except they agree? Marriage is the highest form of agreement.
4. No Intentionality
   Expecting things to just happen when you married. Marriage is not like that, marriage is work. So, as a married person, everything you were doing when you were single, when you were trying to catch each other, you will multiply it by ten and keep doing it. If you use to take her out, you don’t stop taking her out because you are married. That’s why I keep telling people, don’t start what you can not finish.
5. Don’t Seeing Your Marriage As A Bigger Assignment.
   Don’t just think that marriage is about two of you.

 “Romans 12: 1.. So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him”.

Marriage is about bring God glory. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and they will glorify your father who is in heaven.

I’m really looking forward to see more people doing things for each other in a way that people will say, “haaaa..this is how I want my marriage to be”. Your marriage should be an evangelism in this last day. Because in this last days, too many people are messing up marriage. So, people should ask us; what are you doing? There is something you are doing that is making it work, show me way! That’s what God’s plan is.

And that marriage should be a ground for breeding Godly seed. You should be able to raise Godly children, not well behave children. There is a difference. Not children who can say “thank you, please excuse me. You tell them sit-down, they sitdown”. No!
Godly children, when they see something, they can say “in the name of Jesus”, and the thing will flee.

Children that will come to you and say, “mummy, I was having headache but I put my hand on my head and it’s gone”. That’s what God want. Godly seed.

We have to invest in our children. The world is investing in them. And they don’t have the same agenda. YouTube is not preaching Jesus, that is not what their work is. And the gay community, they are very strong and they are not after you. You are too stubborn. They say kiss man, you say, “me..kiss man”,…you are too stubborn. But the children are young enough to believe anything. They will show them in cartoon, show them in music videos. It becomes normal to them.

There was a time they couldn’t show sex on TV. Today, they are even showing it on reality show. I didn’t think I would be alive to see it. But it has become normal. Why? Because we that should have be raising our own children, we are keeping quiet. And the world is ready for you. The person you are playing with is not playing with you.

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