OVERCOMING FAMILY CHALLENGES–Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Mastering the art of communicating with your spouse and other members of your family is a major secret to overcoming challenges that may arise. It is critical for me to stress here that as a married couple, never go to bed at night harboring grudges against each other in your mind. If you do, you may have nightmares and bad dreams that may complicate whatever challenge has been before. Make sure that whatever needs to be sorted out is done the same day. This will go a long way in resolving whatever challenge is between you and your spouse as well as between you and your family members.
When grievances are not aired, an explosion someday is inevitable. It reminds me of what can happen to a bottle of Coca-Cola when it is shaken repeatedly over a period of time. It will eventually burst open, shattering the bottle. It becomes very important, therefore, for couples and family members to ensure that nothing comes between them that is not sorted out.
Never ignore or shout down your spouse; never allow any conversation to degenerate into an argument. If you do, you are opening the door to the devil. For many people, winning an argument is more important than winning their spouses. Argument keeps you farther apart, beware of it.
As a woman, for example, you may not agree with a decision made by your husband. The wisest thing to do at that time is to listen to him air his view and when he has finished, air your own view as well. If for any reason you sense an argument is about to ensue, suspend the matter till a later date. Communicate your opinion to your heavenly Father in prayer and ask for the right words, correct timing and approach. But never quarrel! He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he (Proverbs 16:20).
If your conversation always ends in an argument, a gully is being created between both of you; and if not handled on time, it can lead to total separation between you. It is necessary to mention at this juncture that in a bid to air their minds, some people speak unadvisedly. This shows lack of discretion. Weigh your words before speaking because words are fragile as raw eggs; once broken, they cannot be re-gathered. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:29, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Some men call their wives and children all kinds of terrible names and vice versa, particularly out of anger. Some women, in turn, are experts at nagging. This is an abuse of the tongue! This has resulted in challenges in many homes. These homes are badly damaged and in serious trouble, because the tongue is not being controlled; they are victims of corrupt communication. But Ephesians 4:29 places the responsibility on us. It says Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth… You have a responsibility to guard what proceeds out of your mouth.
Another aspect of corrupt communication you must guard against as a family is gossip. Never be found backbiting and castigating other family members in their absence. It brings hatred and divisions into a home.
Good communication is vital for all members of the family, therefore should be employed by members for a fruitful family relationship. Keep the communication lines open; don’t allow the enemy to tamper with it.
When you want a telephone line connected to your house, the first thing you do is go to the agency responsible and apply for it. You are asked to purchase a box to enable you to receive and make calls, and then a telephone number is assigned to you.
The moment you are connected, you can freely pick up the receiver and dial any number of your choice, provided you fulfill the required conditions. However, you can only call someone who is also connected! That is not all, the person at the other end must answer the phone call before any meaningful conversation can take place.
When having a conversation, always give room for the other person to respond. Can you imagine how frustrating it will be for you to receive a phone call from a friend who spends several minutes talking, but never allows you to respond? When next he/she calls, you will definitely not be keen to pick up the phone.
This same principle applies when you are handling difficulties or resolving differences, both of you should speak in turns; one at a time. You should allow your spouse to finish speaking before you talk. God is a God of order, and everything ought to be done decently and in order!
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