Apostle Joshua Selman: When your expectations in a relationship far outweigh your contribution, you are a selfish person. When your contributions far outweigh your expectation, somebody is being unfair on you. There must be a healthy balance.
You can not contribute 1,000 naira worth of contribution and expect 1,000,000 naira worth of expectation. That is fraud!
Is like giving the bank 1,000 naira and expecting 2million tomorrow. It doesn’t work that way. Unfortunately, there are some people, that’s how them relationship are. You never can trace the benefit that they bring into the system. They only thing they remember is their need.
Our dear sister in the Lord, let me give you counsel. I don’t talk so much about this but let me give you honest counsel; throw away some of these garbages that come in from misguided, maybe social media. Edit the things that you learn. The moment you are in any kind of relationship that makes it all about you, you are already in trouble. Not even our relationship with God, is all about Him.
Hear me, where you do not have any definite value to offer, let your value be gratitude. Where you do not have any definite value to offer, make sure you keep showering that relationship with a lavish expression of gratitude.
You are man and you are not doing anything and your wife is working, bringing you money all the time and having the unashamelessness to look like a f○○l before you. My husband, am submitting to you, including this money.
Children school fees, she has paid it..
House rent, she has paid it..
And you say THANKS…NO, that’s not wisdom. Don’t be offended, am saying this because I love you.
Gratitude is a big contribution in any relationship. Gratitude can equalise even what your value can’t bring.
I am not able to do this, am really grateful.. I wouldn’t have had the money to buy the fuel, but thank you for stepping in. I really want you to know that am thankful and thoughtful for what you have done.
Your wife treats you well, tell her thank you. Don’t say I have paid your dowry already.
No matter how wealthy you are, train your children to say thank you. This entitlement mentality that is destroying Africa…teach them to say thank you. Thank you to God and thank you to men.
And for men, let’s tame our arrogance and say thank you and be there.. Sometimes, all these big man is for nothing. Once you can not help yourself and people do for you what you can not do for yourself, be humble enough to acknowledge people. It does not take anything out of you. There are men who would rather say “how are you, your dress is nice” than to say “thank you”.
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